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  • National Catholic Register

  • Marriage Corner

    Some facts, advice and reading material for a healthy Catholic marriage

  • These four concepts have helped keep us close in our marriage through all manner of circumstance and struggle. Each one has helped us keep our hearts soft toward each other, which is vital to any thriving marriage.

    1) Kiss often. We've made it a point to have at least one (often more) intentional kiss each day. It's amazing how your walls crumble and hardness melts away with an intentional kiss.

    2) Laugh regularly. Laughing reminds us of our friendship. It lightens our hearts and bonds us together. Even when we don't feel like laughing -- like we'd rather remain frustrated -- it has a way of breaking the ice and curing the cold snaps.

    3) Apologize quickly. The Bible talks about being "sober minded". In other words, thinking wisely, honestly and accurately about yourself and those around you. When you've messed up, recognize it and apologize without delay. Turn to each other for forgiveness. That's the first step in getting past the issue.

    4) Forgive readily. Expect that you both will need forgiveness often. Deal with the sin out in the open, get help when needed, but in all things be ready to forgive. You have been forgiven much in Christ, so you are free to forgive each other without reservation. 

    Each of the above ideas directly relates to how hard or soft your hearts are. Hard hearts resist intimacy and put up walls. This is often the result of unchecked pride.

    Soft hearts embrace intimacy and seek to destroy walls that block it. This is only possible if your sense of identity is rooted in Christ and his unconditional love. Without him, you will find your identity wrapped up in your "rightness" or any other of a thousand things. Keep your identity in Christ -- remind yourself of the gospel -- that you are a sinner saved by unmerited grace, adopted into the family of God through Christ.


    Stay fierce in Jesus, keep a soft heart, and love each other with everything you've got.
    ~ Ryan & Selena
    #fiercemarriage #twoasone #15secondkiss